1. I've got it on good authority that AIDS was a whitey plot. That's totally not cool, dude.
2. Recently, someone (may have been BTC) threw out the idea that writing and delivering one's own speeches is a decent measure of leadership-n-integrity. Comparing against the few who penned speeches that actually captivated me to teh end (Washington's farewell and Lincoln at Gettysburg, note the length), maybe there's something to that. Keep in mind that I'm of an age that I remember Reagan better at his more senile.
2a. "Debit?" Whatever, just so long as he can pronounce "nucular".
iv. There's a joke about inventing the banjo and being persecuted, but I'm not willing to make it.
P. Thank god you were here. (Entertaining, yes, but even more importanty, I totally didn't want to score bingo up there.)